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Grief, the price of love…

Another year gone by. Grief, they say is the price of love. It’s a funny thing because it never really leaves you and just when you think it’s gone it can rear it’s ugly head again. 2 months ago I went through the raw emotions all over again, perhaps spurred on by the loss of another. I let the emotion tumble out of me, I let myself sob for my mother, I let myself feel the loneliness, the heartache, the despair. It was hard and it hurt, but my body needed to release the emotions. Once they were out there was space in my heart, I could breathe again.

Now 2 months later the space has made way for joy and lightness.

Perhaps that’s just life though, the ups and downs, the pendulum keeps swinging, if we don’t let ourselves feel the sadness we cannot make room for joy. And so as I continue my journey I allow the emotions to come and go feeling them, acknowledging them, honoring the sad times and enjoying the good times, allowing life to flow through me rather than resisting it.

Today is 6 years since my darling mum passed away, I remember every detail as clearly as if it was yesterday, I can still feel her hand in mine, I can feel her warmth and see the excitement in her eyes when she saw me, it’s amazing how tangible her presence is at times, the veil between this life and the next is so thin. Oh mama how I miss you yet I feel so blessed to have been able to call you mum.

“She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.” George Eliot

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